Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Name is Stephanie, and I Have Issues.

Seriously though. Major trust issues. Along with a nice dose of commitment issues. So I'm basically perfect girlfriend material. Obviously.

I also have major fear of rejection. To the point that I never take chances. I never let anyone know what I really think. Because I'm either afraid to say the wrong thing and have them be offended, or I'm afraid that they are going to judge me by my answer or think the opposite thing and not like me. Seriously. It's pathetic. I hear that everyone deals with this, but I'm also really self-centered too, so I'm pretty sure mine is worse than yours. But even though I'm extremely self-centered, I also never think I'm good enough. I act like I do, but when it comes down to it, I almost always assume there's something wrong with ME and that's why things don't work out. Because obviously everyone else is perfect and living a perfect life and mine is the only one that has had road bumps. (Like I said, I'm extremely self-centered).

Also, I'm way too generous. I help and help and give and give and never take care of myself. I know that's supposed to be a good quality, ya know, giving to others and sacrificing, but I do it to such an extreme that I start to resent that I spend all of my time on others. My sister always tells me I'm selfish, so this must be what she's talking about.

...I'm having a bad night.

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